i really wish platonic relationships were more important. i’m tired of losing friendships because i’m less important than their significant other. i hate that i’m automatically not as close to my friends because i’m not the person they’re dating/sleeping with. and i hate how whenever i complain about it the response is “you’ll find someone too someday!” like no I shouldn’t have to “find someone” to feel loved and important, maybe we should stop promoting investing all your time and effort and physical and emotional intimacy into one romantic/sexual partner idk
But this can go both ways…
Admittedly there have been friends i’ve lost due to my negligence toward them after starting a new relationship. I hate that its happened, but it has with some people. I admit that.
But….
I’ve also had friends say they don’t like a person I’ve dated and they completely ghosted me. Despite holding true to these friends and keeping my relationship separate from them (which is flat out wrong to have to do just to keep a friend anyway) and they still just disappear.
An example: I knew a girl who dated a guy within the same circle of friends. If she was invited he was coming too whether he was invited or not. Nobody cared much since they both were friends with the same people. But the second anyone in that circle was dating someone, she would complain if they were brought around even once. She ghosted me the first time i introduced her to a guy i dated for 6 years.
The reality is that you must avoid toxic anything. Time can be lost due to many different life events including meeting someone new. The problem is when a significant other takes ALL of your time. The problem can also be when a friend expects ALL of your time. Nobody should expect all of your time. And anyone who expects that is seriously toxic, considering YOU will always need YOUR OWN time as well.







